So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
