dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
