its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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