i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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