Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
