I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
