in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
