96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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