I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
