awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
