i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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