Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
