i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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