Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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