I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
