That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
