I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
