I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
