did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
