that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Terrible idea I love it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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