It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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