He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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