I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
