Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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