the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
