some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
