We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize