So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
