READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
