I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
