in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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