Jerry, you need to find god
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
