Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
