It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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