I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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