What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize