In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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