i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
