hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
