just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The uberlube is also flammable
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
