Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
