The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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