uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do vagina's smell?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
