Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
