My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
