Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
