Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
