Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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