i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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