who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
