If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
