We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
