so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My bed smells like the plague
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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