Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize