People in love make me want to vomit
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
