I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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