I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
