9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
