he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
