8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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