he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Someone came in the potted fern
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
