Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
