So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
